A Public Plea to Trump to Quit Beating His Dog

The disgraced loser’s rehabilitation starts here if he’s to get out of the doghouse but isn’t likely

John Dean
3 min readFeb 17, 2021


Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash modified by J. Dean

I have one question for Donald J. Trump: Have you quit beating your dog? Never mind that the self-identified head of the Republican party doesn’t like dogs. If he had one, he’d be beating him just like he took after Mitch McConnell yesterday. You can skewer McConnell in the press. It’s not so easy with a dog, so if you have Trump's values, you beat it.

We have seen a lot from the man once known as the Orange Menace in the last two months, all of it bad. But it’s no longer fair to call him the Orange Menace. Voters and the Constitution have neutered Trump. He can still bark, but the bite is fading fast.

Prosecutors and lawyers will play the role of dogcatchers if you are willing to assign Trump the dog's role. Surprisingly, he might take it. The shoes of the victim seem to fit him fine. For four years — longer if you count his racism-laced campaign that started a year earlier — he has been repeatedly victimized by fake news outlets who have made a business of pointing out what they call lies.

Now that he’s out of office, the same victimizers have upped their game. They’ve decided to ignore him. That’s real punishment for a narcissist. If you doubt this, contact one and ask.


Rehabilitation is harder for a blind politician than it is for one clear-eyed. If you can’t see reality, you might step in more poop. And, depending on your state of mind, the poop might not even be poop. It could be something innocuous. But someone like Trump most likely will view it as yet another unjustified assault. One not only on him, unfair to the core because of what he did for America, but against the interests of the United States, at least those parts of it that, in his mind, matter.

Trump seems to be limiting his strategizing to family members and ex-felons. If he talked to the rest of us, he might tell us that he had an obligation to respond to “the attacks.” This is the biblical response. If someone hits you, you owe it to them to hit them back harder. And as we know, the ex-president would not let something less serious…



John Dean

Writing on politics, photography, nature, the environment, dogs, and, ocasionally, humor. Editor of Dean’s List.