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Political Satire, Humor
Melania Leaves Donald — For Beto?
The allure of a defeated ex-president has worn off for Melania Trump. Last weekend she announced she is leaving Donald Trump.
A large moving van was seen loading last week at Mar-a-Lago. It was headed for Texas. The former first lady left while her soon-to-be ex-husband was at a MAGA rally in Pennsylvania. Preliminary reports suggest Melania’s departure took Trump by surprise. Shortly after staff informed him of Melania’s departure, Trump was seen throwing a three-iron from the south patio of the club.
In recent months, Donald Trump’s attention has focused more on reclaiming the White House than on his marriage. Instead of looking for ways to rebuild a relationship weakened by Trump’s progressively narcissistic behavior, he has spent the last 18 months looking for fraudulent votes that don’t exist. And while Trump spent hours selecting candidates like Dr. Oz, J.D. Vance, and Hershal Walker to endorse, Melania shopped, entertained friends in an ornate private dining room at Mar-a-Lago set aside for her exclusive use, and started dating.
Last January, an old modeling friend introduced Melania to Beto O’Rouke, the former Congressman, ex-presidential candidate, and current candidate for governor of the Lone Star State. The friend told Melania she “just had to meet Beto.” The former first lady was reluctant at first because she had heard her husband call Beto “a bottom dweller,” but she quickly agreed to give Beto a try.
Two weeks later, O’Rourke was in West Palm Beach, meeting with prospective donors for his campaign. He was staying at the Ritz. A date was arranged.
The two celebrities met for coffee in a closed-off portion of the bar. Melania, casually dressed in Stella McCartney, had two Secret Service agents with her, but the ex-first lady directed them to wait outside of the room. Melania wanted to get to know O’Rouke, who wasn’t traveling with his wife, Amy Hoover Sanders.
Witnesses that could see the pair from an open door report that Beto and Melania hit it off immediately. Melania was seated when Beto arrived. She greeted him with a warm smile. The witnesses said she looked beautiful.
